What It's Like
by Fellowshipper
Summary: Jubilee has a secret, but is letting Jono play Dear Abby the best idea?
1. Default Chapter

**Title:** What It's Like 

**Notes:** Hmm...Okay, so it's a tried and true little plot device. I tweaked the characters a little and still tried to keep them pretty true to comic form. Hopefully I haven't over-tweaked...And many thank you's and cups of coffee for the musi go to my beta reader (you know who you are) for both the advice and the title. :-)

**Second Note:** I'm trying my hand at different topics, and this one happened to come up. There's a bit of slashy stuff in here so if that makes you squicked (it's a word if I say it is!), you might wanna turn back now. 

**Continuance Note:** Not sure about this one, so I'll make up my own. Paige and Jono are indeed dating (if you can believe that one), Ev's gone, and there aren't any human students at the school. Other than that, I think everything's going by the normal timeline. 

**Disclaimer:** Marvel owns everything that Bill Gates doesn't. Well, except for the Bar Chick (tm) that makes a brief appearance, but that doesn't count. Oh, and before I forget, the song (and what a lovely one it is, huh?) belongs to Everlast. 

******

_God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes,  
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose. - Everlast, "What It's Like"_  


Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters was notorious in Massachusetts for being a very exclusive school for those with exceptional talents. Those who did not know the students were under the automatic assumption that those who attended the school were of above average intelligence and, as such, spent every waking hour locked away in their rooms, studying until their eyes ached. 

Those who did not know the students of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters personally would undoubtedly be surprised to find half the school's population in a trendy night club. 

Granted, that night club was one for all ages, since Jubilee and Paige were both still minors and, badly as he wanted to, Jono couldn't drink, which effectively eliminated any need for one of the older clubs. The particular club they had stumbled into made no secret of the fact it targeted young people, most obviously with its bright colors and pop music that marked it as a trap for teenagers. 

Jono hated it. 

For an almost nineteen-year-old would-be grunge rocker, the worst sort of torture was having to listen to the latest hits from whatever boy band happened to be popular at the moment. He had practically grown up in some of the seediest clubs in east London, either by sneaking in or being granted entrance because of a generous soul. His personal favorite had been a somewhat creepy place called Complications that was wildly popular amongst the metalheads and Goths alike. The dim lighting, black walls, and blood red carpeting and furniture had given it an incredibly eerie feeling. Consequently, it became something of a second home to Jono while he was still in England. 

Needless to say, he felt as though he would start convulsing when he entered the club of Jubilee's choosing. Supposedly she picked it because of a hot local band playing that night, but Jono secretly suspected her ulterior motive was to make him lose his already shaky grasp on sanity. 

"At least pretend you don't mind being here," Paige urged as they walked through the door, giving his hand a squeeze for emphasis. Jono rolled his eyes and gestured to the bar where, presumably, the strongest beverage served was Mountain Dew. 

*I'll be over by the Lake o' Fire if you want me.* 

Paige chuckled and reached up to give him a quick peck on the cheek before she and Jubilee waded into the crowd. Half an hour later, Jono was ready to start mercilessly beating his head against the tabletop at the band playing on stage. They were an odd blend of rap, punk, and ska that didn't mesh in any of the right ways. Then again, Jono had at one point been a hopeful musician and as such was something of a perfectionist by nature, so he could determine what was actual talent and what was a sorry attempt to make themselves sound original in an increasingly varied music world. 

That lack of talent the band consistently displayed was not enough to prevent the over-caffeinated group of teenagers from jumping in place at the front of the stage. By the time Jono had just started to get his headache to subside, the band had been long gone and the crowd had swelled to allow a large number of dancing people onto the floor. 

"Hey." 

He barely glanced up at the curvy redhead that settled herself onto the stool beside him. She was pretty, but he didn't need Paige husking into something metallic and painful and teaching him the error of his lecherous ways. Still, he gave an acknowledging nod and began studying a napkin in front of him, willing the girl to leave. Damn Jubilee and her insistence he borrow one of the school's image inducers for the night. It had been programmed to present a reasonable imitation of what he would have looked like if his powers hadn't ravaged his body, and Jubilee had laughingly commented that he had the whole scruffy musician act down. The device had also been recalibrated so that it would appear that he was actually speaking, and with some effort he could make a rather believable presentation of a normal teenager. 

He just didn't want Paige to see him trying that presentation out with Miss Clairol. 

She flipped her dyed red hair, complete with black roots, and leaned forward, eyes flashing mischievously. Green eyes, Jono saw, a detail he immediately regretted noticing. That meant he made eye contact, and eye contact would give the impression he was interested. 

"Wanna dance?" 

Jono's fake mouth moved up and down in an unconscious gesture of uncertainty. He was ready to run in fear until his personal deux ex machina showed up in the form of a blond country girl. 

"Sorry," Paige interrupted, grabbing Jono's hand and yanking him to his feet, "but he's taken." 

The redhead seemed to consider that, then offered a hint of a grin. "Sorry, didn't know. You snagged a good one, though." 

Paige looked back at Jono, who was in turn looking at the floor. "I know." 

When he thought it was safe to do so, Jono risked a glance at whom he supposed was his girlfriend. *Can we go now?* 

The request wasn't granted until an hour later, and the ride back to the school was unusually quiet, given that Jubilee was riding in the back seat. Jono looked to Paige, then leaned into the passenger seat, keeping his conversation limited. 

*You okay, gel?* 

Jubilee's eyes widened at the unexpected telepathic intrusion, then she relaxed and shook her head. *No, not really.* 

*Wanna talk?* 

*No.* 

*Yer choice.* Jono withdrew from Jubilee's mind and remained silent the rest of the way home. Very much to his surprise, however, was when Jubilee bolted from the car before the key was even out of the ignition. 

*Wot's wrong with 'er?* 

Paige shrugged. "I don't have a clue. She's been acting weird all night, like she's not really there." 

She managed to catch up to Jubilee just in time to see her find the note attached to the door of the room they shared. Being tall had its advantages, and she could easily peer over her friend's shoulder to see Angelo's chicken-scratch writing on the paper. 

"Oooh, Jubilee's got a boyfriend," she sing-songed, startled when Jubilee pushed rudely past her into the room. Paige trailed along behind. "Aw, c'mon, Jubes. I was only kidding. He probably just wants his movie back anyway." Jubilee looked up quizzically at her roommate. "You still have his copy of Braveheart, remember?" 

"Oh...Yeah." Jubilee flopped onto her bed, kicking her shoes off as she unfolded the letter. She groaned loudly when she reached the end of it. "I don't believe this." 

Paige, by that point having practically buried herself inside her closet, was interested. "What happened?" 

"Nothin', just this letter." Jubilee sighed and rolled over onto her back, wondering when life had gotten so utterly complicated. Her night had been going pretty well until she saw Paige dancing in the club, buttons loose on her shirt, hair wild, and being so unlike Paige that it had rekindled a painful crush that Jubilee had hoped would stay hidden. And then she came home, wanting nothing more than to sleep her feelings away, only to find a letter that Angelo had obviously poured his heart into writing. 

"Hey, Paige?" 

Paige stepped out of the closet with the bottom half of her pajamas and a bra on, trying to hold onto her pajama top and tie her hair back at the same time. "Yeah?" 

Jubilee wanted to tell her everything, how she watched her most of the night, how she had harbored feelings beyond simple friendship for so long it hurt, how she would have to hurt one of her best friends because the object of his affection was interested in someone else. 

The words stuck in her throat. 

"Can you toss me the remote?" 

"Lazy," Paige grinned, but she handed the remote over. Jubilee fell silent and began looking for something to take her mind off Paige, Angelo, and anybody else that happened to be making life a living Hell. 


	2. Jeopardy! (The End)

_Note: Sorry about this chapter being so long, but try as I might to figure out a way to break it up without destroying the flow of it, I couldn't. _

Jubilee awoke to the sound of labored breathing, both surprised and flustered to find that it was her own. Her heart beating so hard in her chest she feared someone might hear it, she slid her feet into a pair of leopard print slippers and moved out of the room, heading to the kitchen with grim determination. 

She thought she heard something as she poured a glass of water, then shrugged it off and leaned against the counter, knowing the cold water would wash the taste of early morning breath from her mouth. She only wished it could wash the images of a blue-eyed, blond-haired roommate with the perfect peaches-and-cream complexion from her mind. 

Jubilee heard the noise again and hoped she wasn't going delusional on top of everything else. The glass of water was forgotten as she moved to the vent on the far side of the kitchen and listened to the quiet sounds drifting from . . . where could it have been? She leaned in closer and recognized the sound as belonging to a guitar, then drew her bottom lip into her mouth. Now or never. She would have preferred never, but she headed to the basement anyway. 

It was every bit as dark as ever, but as she looked around the room, she found undeniable evidence of teenage life. The mini-Star Wars shrine in the corner was a bit of a giveaway. 

"Shut up, Starsmore. Some of us are tryin' to sleep." 

Jono looked up long enough to get a good look at Jubilee, and she was given the distinct feeling he was snickering at her. *Nice jammies.* 

She glanced down at herself and her Powerpuff Girls pajamas and shrugged. "I think so." She paused and listened to the melody being strummed, one she didn't recognize but liked anyway. "So what, are you, like, the phantom of the basement now or something?" 

*Or something.* 

Jubilee turned her attention to the television and saw that even though it was muted, The Real World was playing. "You know, it's usually easier to follow a T.V. show if you can hear it." 

*I hate this show,* he admitted, a sharp, playful glint entering his normally sad brown eyes. *But it does 'ave some pretty cute birds on it from time t'time.* 

"Why do you call 'em birds?" 

*Hell if I know. Why do you call 'em chicks?* 

Jubilee hesitated. "Okay, point." 

*As always. I'm guessin' you don't usually wander the halls at three a.m., so wot's up?* 

Jubilee drew in a deep breath, trying to summon every possible ounce of courage she could. "Think you could talk to Ange sometime? Please?" 

*Maybe. 'Bout wot?* 

"He decided to write a letter earlier asking me out. It was really sweet and really stupid and combined everything I love about him and -" 

*Lee.* 

"What?" 

*Take a breath.* 

Jubilee blushed and did as she was told. "I like him, don't get me wrong or anything, but not in the way that he wants me to. Or maybe I do. I just like someone else better." 

Jono looked up again from his perch on the couch, saw a very uncharacteristic Jubilee standing with her head bowed, arms crossed, and pointed to the bean bag chair to his left. *This ain't just about Angelo, I can tell that much. Sit down an' talk.* 

Jubilee took the offered seat, admittedly surprised when Jono slid off the couch and into the floor beside her. "Are you my shrink now?" 

*Much less expensive, though. So wot's botherin' you?* Jubilee's face gained the expression of one deep in thought, and it was enough to inspire Jono. He started plucking at the guitar strings, watching as realization crept into Jubilee's eyes. When she whacked him hard on his shoulder, he made a mental note to not play the "Jeopardy!" theme when a friend was having an intense inner struggle. 

"You're not helping." 

Jono set the guitar aside. *Just thought I'd provide background music for all those brain cells dancin' around in yer 'ead.* He paused long enough to see Jubilee shoot a scathing glance at him. *'Ey, now, don't give me that look. I'm developing a sense of humor. I can go right back t'bein' Chamber the Angsty Brit.* 

Jubilee smiled a little but still remained silent. 

*Lee, I'm gonna start charging for yer therapy session, like. Yer makin' me miss Real World.* 

A deep, suffering sigh escaped Jubilee as she turned to better see her companion, the beans and plastic rustling accordingly. "I like Angelo, I really do, but I like someone else even more." 

Jono's eyes widened. *No offense, but please tell me it's not me. I don't really need 'pedophile' tacked onto me record.* 

"As if," Jubilee snickered. "And you're only four years older than me. Get a grip." 

*I 'ad a grip...once. It went down in flames and died.* He gazed longingly at the television, specifically at a top-heavy brunette. *God, I gotta get on that show.* 

"You sound more an' more like Ange every day." 

Jono looked away from the T.V. *He's a bad influence. But you didn't come down 'ere for small talk. All you've said so far is that you like someone besides Angelo. What's the big problem?* 

Now or never, Jubilee told herself again, closing her eyes as if she thought that would make this any easier. "'Cause I...uh...like a girl more." 

The only gesture Jono made was to raise an eyebrow. *Really?* 

"Y-yeah," Jubilee stammered, cautiously peeling one eye open enough to see Jono's reaction. All he did was stare back at her. 

*Why are you tellin' me this? Why not someone you talk to on a fairly civil basis?* 

"'Cause you were the most...open-minded person I could think of. I figured you wouldn't, y'know, judge me or anything." 

*It's 'cause I'm British, ain't it?* He joked, succeeding in pulling a weak laugh from the girl. *Think you can keep yer mouth shut?* 

"Probably not." 

*Humor me. Pretend you can. Anyway, I kinda know 'ow you feel.* 

Jubilee rolled her eyes and retreated further into her bean bag chair. "Liar." 

Jono grew quiet for several uncomfortable moments. *I slept with me best friend once.* 

If someone had told her that a group of aliens dressed in gorilla costumes had just invaded the house, Jubilee couldn't imagine being more surprised. "You? The walking ad for Prozac?" 

Jono's eyes narrowed. *Yer not endearing yerself t'me, but yeah.* 

"Bullshit," Jubilee laughed, receiving an admonishing glare for her trouble. 

*Watch it. Yer too young t'be swearin'.* 

"And what were you doing when _you_ were fifteen?" 

*Helluva lot more 'an you.* 

She tried hard to keep her mouth closed, but Jubilee couldn't keep her wise cracks to herself. "Like sleeping with guys, for instance." 

Jono would have laughed if he could. *Actually, I was seventeen when that 'appened.* 

Sobering quickly, Jubilee watched as Jono regretfully turned the television off. "Was it planned?" 

*Not in the least. It just sorta...I dunno. It 'appened. 'Course, I was stoned an' 'e was drunk, so that could've 'ad something t'do with it.* 

Jubilee frowned. "Did it change anything?" 

*Oh yeah. Things were real tense for a little while after that, but eventually we just decided that it was an accident an' wouldn't 'appen again.* 

"That's it?" 

Jono, who had since moved to the CD player to drop a disk into the revolving tray, turned and stared incredulously at Jubilee. *Wot the bloody hell do you mean, 'that's it'? It's not every day a bloke wakes up in bed with his best friend, despite wot Jerry Springer would 'ave you believe. It can be pretty traumatic to a seventeen-year-old kid.* 

"Jono, _you're_ traumatic." 

He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, eyes flickering with the hint of his old personality. *So I've been told. It was Mum's fault. I should go on a talk show sometime an' blame all me problems on 'er.* Jubilee quieted herself, listening as Jono scanned a Tapestry CD for a certain song. *Call me curious, but tell me about this girl that's got you in this mess.* 

A silly look came into Jubilee's eyes at the request, and try as she might to hide it, the look remained. "She's just...her, y'know? Smart, pretty, funny when she wants to be..." She trailed off before she blurted too much. 

Jono, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to his friend's suddenly goofy mood. *So who's this perfect mystery girl?* 

The silly look faded as quickly as it had appeared. Telling the truth would be the best thing to do, she reasoned, but how was she to tell her current therapist it was his girlfriend? That was when she made the brilliant choice to try lying to a telepath. "You know how me an' Paige made that trip to the mall a couple weeks ago? I kinda met someone there. Been talkin' to her ever since." 

Whether he knew she was lying and was being kind to her or honestly believed the story, Jubilee didn't know. Either way, Jono nodded in understanding and dropped down once again into his spot on the floor. *Jubilee, I don't know wot t'tell you other than maybe you should talk to 'er.* 

"Things get worse, though. See, not only did I get a crush on a girl, but I got a crush on a girl with a boyfriend." 

Had he possessed the ability to do so, Jono would have whistled. *So you've been drivin' yerself crazy over a girl who, as far as you know, is straight?* Jubilee nodded sadly. *Sucks t'be you.* 

"Come on, Jono, help me out!" Jubilee pleaded, jabbing her teammate in what remained of his ribs. "I mean, I still like guys and everything, and it's not like I go around checkin' out girls, but somehow this one's...different, I guess." 

Jono started to fire off another of his signature sarcastic remarks until he looked over at Jubilee and noticed how miserable she had made herself. *Aw, Lee,* he started, sliding an arm around her shoulders as she leaned against him. *C'mon, luv, yer stronger than this. Don't let yerself get all torn up over something you really can't help.* 

"It's bad enough being a mutant. I don't wanna be a gay one." 

Jono let out a mental chuckle, a very strange sound that caused Jubilee to jump. *Likin' a girl don't necessarily mean yer gay. An' even if it did, wot's it matter?* 

"I'm already a mutant, Sparky. I don't need to be an even bigger freak. Can you imagine what it's like not even being able to walk down the street without bein' heckled?" 

*Yeah, actually, I can,* Jono snapped a bit more angrily than he intended. Jubilee flinched. *I can't really offer very 'elpful advice, Lee, I'm sorry. Just try talkin' to the gel. If you keep this bottled up forever, yer just gonna hurt yerself.* 

Jubilee looked up, blue eyes hopeful. "You really think that'll help?" 

*No, not really,* Jono shrugged, eyes crinkling, *but it's worth a shot.* 

"See, that's what I love about ya. Yer always honest." 

*That's just a rumor.* 

"Here I am, havin' a mid-life crisis at fifteen, and you're making jokes. Smartass." 

Jono's eyes crinkled even more. *I told you t'stop swearin'. An' I thought that was why you came down 'ere in the first place, 'cause o' me sarcasm?* 

"No, I came down here because I thought you were open-minded. Instead, I get mocked and everything." 

*Life's a bitch, innit?* 

"You know, Sparky, if I didn't like someone else more, I think I'd marry you." 

Jono arched his eyebrows. *That so? Just wot the world needs, li'l British Jubilees runnin' around, sayin' 'like' every other word.* Jono mocked a shudder, laughing when Jubilee smacked the back of his head as she moved from her seat. She had nearly made it to the door when she stopped dead in her tracks, turning to face her friend. 

"Jono?" 

*Yeah?* He turned around from where he was again standing beside the stereo, startled when Jubilee threw her arms around his waist and buried her face against his battered Nirvana t-shirt. He faltered uncertainly at first like a deer in headlights before slipping his arms around Jubilee and returning the hug. 

"Thanks," she whispered while pulling away, simultaneously leaning up, battling Jono's considerable height advantage over her to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. "A lot." 

*Yer...uh...yer welcome, luv,* Jono stammered, trying to hide the embarrassment and brotherly pride he felt. *But next time I'm charging.* He tried to cover up his emotions with the same biting sarcasm that alienated most but drew some to him. He and Jubilee both knew it was an act to disguise his happiness at having helped someone else from a bad situation. 

Nevertheless, Jubilee gave a quick smile and dashed up the stairs and out the door, trying to build her confidence as she neared her room. That confidence slipped and nearly shattered when she walked in and saw Paige sitting at the computer. 

"What're you doin' up?" 

"Couldn't sleep. What about you?" 

Jubilee swallowed hard. "Midnight snack. Well, okay, three a.m. snack. Whatever." She clutched the doorknob tightly, forcing herself to stay calm. "Um...Paige?" The girl at the computer wheeled around in the desk chair. "Can we talk?" 

"Sure, Jubes." 

The door swung shut and gave a quiet, protesting click as Jubilee let go. 


End file.
